To be very honest and vulnerable I did not want to write this post for fear I might mess up and you will see that I did mess up. I am afraid if I write this and then gain any weight back I will look like a fool. But there is one thing that keeps pulling, leading me to write this – the Lord! Months ago the Lord began to ask me to put myself out there once again in blog land but in a very naked way – my weight.
I told the Lord He has the wrong girl. Why ask me if I’m not victorious of losing weight and keeping it off yet? “I can’t be the girl you’re asking to do this,” I told the Lord. I had every reason why He should use someone else. But He kept calling me, wooing me, loving me to obedience. I have been begging and asking the Lord, “Can’t I do this after I lose all the weight and get 100% healthy?” But that is not what He is asking of me. He is asking me to let you share in my journey of getting healthy mind, body, soul and spirit. I realized I was acting like Moses giving every reason why I wasn’t the person, yet God has a reason and I must TRUST Him despite every part of my being wanting to run the other way like Jonah.
You get to see a real, raw, imperfect, messed up person, fumbling at her best to get this extra weight off her body. So today, I take a step out of the boat like Peter did and ask Jesus to give me the Faith to help me stay afloat. I have decided: I want to have FAITH in God to lay it all out there and be real with you all. I am not close to my goal weight. I just started (again) about five weeks ago after having tried so many times before to lose weight. If you’ve tried to lose weight before now then I know you know how I feel.
The angst of failure.
The sadness of trying on the clothes you could fit one year ago but not now.
The pain your joints feel when doing simple things.
Looking at yourself and not hating yourself for letting your body gain weight for hundredth time
Mad at yourself for not having enough willpower to keep it off!
UGHHH! I have been there, but there is freedom in Jesus Christ to love yourself just as you are. Right now in this very moment – where our IMPERFECTness collides with His PERFECT LOVE! He died on the cross for you just as you are. He loves you right now despite how you feel about yourself.
He loves you. right now. just as you are.
In this moment….
I want to be brave more than afraid
I want to be a part of my healing process more than sitting idly by and doing nothing
I want to get in the ring and work hard more than sitting on the sidelines
I want to please God with my obedience more than rationalizing myself out of it
So, here I am putting myself out there simply wanting to obey the Lord and be honest with you!
I want to tell you losing weight can be frickin’ hard and daunting! Letting go of weight is hard (if you’re doing it in a healthy manner). You can have good days and hard days. You can be working your program and not lose a pound, rather gain. You can work out and get lots of exercise and lose nothing on the darn scale. Over the next few months, I want to share with you my journey of getting healthy body, soul and spirit. It’s not a sprint and depending on how much weight you need to let go, it isn’t a marathon also. I believe mine is a journey. It has had its ups and downs for over half my life. I pray that you will feel inspired that you are not alone on this journey friend.
You know you are not alone on this journey. If you feel like a failure after gaining back your weight you swore you would never gain back- I know how you feel. I have been there – too many times to count. More than me understanding how you feel, God knows how you feel. And that matters more than anything! 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”
Ladies, the Lord MAKES all things new! Please hear me clearly when you read this next line. Your mind being healed is just as important as your body being healed and healthy. We can do our very best at attempting to lose weight physically but then only to fail to do it again and again. Maybe, just maybe, it’s TIME we do things differently.
Right now in this season of my life…
I am seeing a counselor – getting healthy mentally and emotionally.
I am doing the Armor of God Bible Study – getting healthy spiritually.
I am renewing my mind and spirit in God’s word with journaling and praying – getting healthy mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I am reading multiple books on Boundaries – getting healthy mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I am walking, jogging and encouraging my body to get active and move – getting healthy physically.
I am getting my kids active by riding bikes so I can walk or jog – getting healthy physically.
The physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual part of ourselves are all related to one another. What we do in one aspect of our life affects the other aspect. We can try to separate them out but they are all interwoven with each other. We need to apply this to getting physically healthy. If we want to get physically healthy we can’t only focus on the physical part of your body. If we only focus on the physical aspect, it would be like putting a small band-aid on a gaping, bloody wound that needs to be seen by the Great Physician.
There were reasons I gained the weight back – every single time. I had to ask the LORD why I allowed it (and at times part of me self-sabotaged my success). There were reasons I binge ate. There were reasons why I did what I did. I needed to ask the hard questions to myself and the Lord so I could receive answers and deep healing that only the Lord can do. By doing that we can then help identify what lies we are believing about ourselves and our body so we can then fight the battle head on with the Lord. Asking God for help can not be an afterthought. It needs to be our first thought. He created you and me! He knows the inner working of our body better than the very best doctor out there.
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10
What you feel and think about yourself matters. If you haven’t invited to the Lord to be with you of getting healthy in your life. Invite Him to do so. He wants to. The Lord has lead me and shown me so many things about myself to help me heal. He only has my very best in mind. Yes, it can be challenging and hard mentally to heal, but I thank my Father God that He loves me so much that He wants me healed and whole as much as I can here on this imperfect world. Thank you, Lord, for loving us enough to help us be overcomers and not victims of our circumstances.
Cling to this verse! Write it down or take a screen shot on your phone so you can memorize and remember it!
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
Even as I’m writing this post I can feel the Lord’s strength pour out as I type this. This post is truly not all me – anything good from this is from the Lord. He loves you dearly friend and He desires you to have victory in your life! He desires you to be healthy and healed on this earth til it’s time to go to your heavenly home, so you can do His good work for the glory of God!
“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57
Until next time friend 🙂 Dig into your true source of strength – God alone!